So I haven't updated this thing in the longest time mostly because...well, mostly because I'm just too damn lazy.

Let's a do a review of things since the 27th, shall we?

Sunday the 28th:
I think I worked. That was it. Oh wait! I worked, and it was 9 hour shift that I took from this guy who's usually not so nice to me. But ever since I took his long ass shift, he's been extra nice. I felt extra worn out, but at least it saved me some kind of grief ;)

Monday the 29th:
I worked again. I think that was it. I think I may be missing some things, but I can't put my finger on what they are...

Okay, you know what? Nobody cares what I did everyday, I'm just going to blog about a few things that have been on my mind lately.

I have so much freaking work to do because I slacked off the entire break. Mind you, most of my holiday was devoted to the slave labour of Best Buy, but I did have a few spare moments, during which I could have been either reading or filling out my Latin worksheets. But alas, that's the not way things work, and I am once again immensely behind. Perhaps, if I'm feeling up to it, I might finish the package of Latin that is ironically titled "The Twelve Days of Latin: Holiday Review Sheets".

But moving onto more important matters - I missed the American Idol Tour Special on New Year's Day. I went out instead and the event completely slipped my mind, even though I've totally been waiting for it for about 6 months. Argh!!! So now I'm desperately seeking solace within my message boards and forums. Unfortunately, I'm not rabid enough of a Clay fan to have access to the Clackhouse, which is where all the good stuff is! And I can't figure out how to register, which is really pissing me off. The sad thing is that I know that I shouldn't care that much, and yet I do. It's literally like a disease that I can't get rid of. My fandoms will be the death of me; It's always something - I'm always missing something, I always have to have that video clip.... *sigh* I don't know what I'm going to do. Hopefully somebody nice on the boards will make me a VHS or DVD copy of the special for which I'm willing to sell my soul for.

Those long drives to and from work allow me to think a lot. Because aside from listening to music, there's not much else to do except think. The other day, I was evaluating the quality of my year with a friend. I had actually never done that before, although it might be something that I'll start to do from now on. It was actually very enlightening - although, I came to the conclusion that the years I speak of are separated more by school year as opposed to actual year. For example, grade 11 was probably my worst year ever, but that was a mixture of 2001-2002. However, if I were to choose a "worst" year, it would definitely be a toss up between 2001, 2002, and 2003. Let's hope that 2004 is a lot better.

It's so easy to be pessimistic about the future, mostly because it holds so much uncertainty. Is it wrong that I expect the worst only to be able to expect the best? Does that make any sense at all? What I mean is that nothing ever turns out the way you expect them to; if you expect them to be bad, it means that things will have a greater chance of being good. Although, arguably, you have to truly expect things to turn out for the worst in order for them to be able to surpass your expectations. So I'm an optimist at heart with the intentions of a pessimist.

Sometimes it's a little too easy to let fate take the upper hand in your life, otherwise, what would be the point to making any kind of choice at all? And yet, it is those choices that propel you towards your fate.

Maybe it's just me being completely and utterly deluded to believe that everything that is meant to happen will happen. My sorry excuse for the shitty things that happen, my sorry excuse for my mistakes. But in the end, it's true, isn't it? If things are meant to happen, then you'll end up making the choices that allow you to fulfill your "destiny", if you'll excuse the extreme cheese. But it's good cheese.

:: Emily 1:10 AM [+] ::